HUMOR: You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If...
Charley Bwithheld (cbwithheld@withheld.net)
Mon, 21 Apr 1997 11:20:56 -0400
De Stasio Joseph, J., 1LT wrote:
>
> You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If.......
>
> Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
> You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm
> Strawberry Hill
> You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
> At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored
> There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder
> You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder
> You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
> You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
> You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
> A peaceful meditation session is one without gas
> You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE
> Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
> You have ever had an X-wing up on cinder blocks in your yard.
> You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
> The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
> Wookies are offended by your B.O.
> You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't
> have to wait for a commercial.
> You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
> You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off
> bottle of beer.
> Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dwithheld
> side...it'll be a hoot."
> You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy
> to get the bar-b-q grill to light.
> You come home to find, your pregnant wife is gone, your R2 unit is dead,
> your X-wing won't start and a note from your mother-in-law telling
> you to get a real job!
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