HUMOR: Redneck Computer Lingo
Jeffro (firefall@geocities.com)
Tue, 29 Apr 1997 12:03:32 -0700
Log On - Makin' the wood stove hotter.
Log Off - Don't add any more wood.
Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove.
Download - Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.
Mega Hertz - When yer not careful downloadin' (watch th' toes!).
Floppy Disk - Whatcha get from pilin' too much firewood.
Disk Operating System - The equipment the Doc uses when you have a
floppy disk.
RAM - The hydraulic thingy that makes the woodsplitter work.
Hard Drive - Gettin' home in mud season.
Prompt - What you wish the mail was in mud season.
Windows - What to shut when it's 30 below.
Screen - What you need for black fly season.
Byte - What black flies do.
Chip - What to munch on.
Micro Chip - What's left in the bag when the chips are gone.
Infrared - Where the leftovers go when Fred's around.
Modem - What you did to the hay fields.
Dot Matrix - John Matrix's wife.
Printer - Someone who can't write in cursive.
Lap Top - Where little kids feel comfy.
Keyboard - Where you hang your keys.
Software - Them plastic eatin' utensils.
486 - One of them fancy imported cars.
Mouse - What eats the horses' grain in the barn.
Main Frame - The part of the barn that holds the roof up.
Port - Fancy wine.
Enter - C'mon in!
Random Access Memory - When you can't remember how much that new rifle
costs when your wife asks.
Digital - Like those numbers that flip on your alarm clock.
Apple - If you don't know what an apple is, I ain't tellin'.
Program - What's on the TV when there's reception.
CD ROM - The place in the bank where they sell retirement accounts.