HUMOR: Some profound thoughts (fwd)
J. Ferrell - withheld (ferrell@withheld.net)
Wed, 23 Apr 1997 11:29:07 -0400 (EDT)
> >> > > Quotes from Seinfeld...
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > > What's with the people who put carpeting on the lid of
> >> > > their toilet seat? What are they thinking -- "Gosh, if
> >> > > we have a party there may not be enough standing room;
> >> > > I'd better carpet the toilet too."
> >> > >
> >> > > Have you ever noticed that the waiter who takes your
> >> > > order is not the one who brings your food anymore?
> >> > > What is THAT about? And which waiter are you tipping,
> >> > > anyway? I think next time I go to a restaurant I'll
> >> > > just say, "Oh, sorry, I only eat the food. The guy who
> >> > > pays the bill will be along shortly."
> >> > >
> >> > > Can't we just get rid of wine lists? Do we really have
> >> > > to be reminded every time we go out to a nice
> >> > > restaurant that we have no idea what we are doing? Why
> >> > > don't they just give us a trigonometry quiz with the
> >> > > menu?
> >> > >
> >> > > Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for
> >> > > telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you
> >> > > hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on
> >> > > the phone you hear a radio station?
> >> > >
> >> > > How come you have to pay someone to rotate your tires?
> >> > > Isn't that the basic idea behind the wheel? Don't they
> >> > > rotate on their own?
> >> > >
> >> > > All the king's HORSES and all the king's men? Are you
> >> > > kidding me? No wonder they couldn't put Humpty
> >> > > together again. Just what did those idiots expect the
> >> > > horses to do, anyway?
> >> > >
> >> > > Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red
> >> > > light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a
> >> > > couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do
> >> > > we really think we are making progress toward our
> >> > > destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now
> >> > > that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and
> >> > > a danish!"
> >> > >