Texas Instruments Inc. has auctioned off its defense electronics
holdings valued at $2 billion or more. In a surprise move, software
giant Microsoft Corporation of Seattle, Washington, came forward with the
winning bid, beating out such interested companies as McDonnell Douglas
Corp., Hughes Electronics Corp., Raytheon Co., Walt Disney Inc., and
Northrop-Grumman Corp. The amount of the sale has not yet been disclosed
to the general public.
Regarding the acquisition, Microsoft CEO Bill Gates produced the
following quote: "We felt that a defense business is just what we need to
increase our competitive position in the current cutthroat mwithheldetplace.
TI's strong presence in the missile production industry is an excellent
addition to Microsoft's growing business arsenal."
Plans for increasing Microsoft's share of the defense industry are
already proceeding. A new suite of products, tentatively called
Microsoft Battlefield, is in the works. "Our focus for these new
products is to increase the weapon-to-user interface (WUI) for the
systems we deliver. Currently, it takes minutes of key turning and dial
setting to launch a major offensive. With our new Windows 95 interface,
it will be possible to take out a competitor with one simple click of the
mouse button."
Commercials using the slogan, "Microsoft: Who do you want to kill
today?" have begun airing in select mwithheldets.
In other related news, a tragic plane crash into the Pacific Ocean has
left several lawyers for rival Apple Corporation lost, and presumed dead.
Apple Corporation is currently involved in litigation with Microsoft
regarding alleged Microsoft Windows patent infringement of the Macintosh
OS operating system.
Analysts predict that this tragedy may set back Apple's lawsuit by up to
six months. Regarding the crash, expert investigator's have not ruled
out foul play. Unconfirmed rumors have circulated that fragments of what
may have been a missile have been found near the crash site.