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From: Nagan, Bob
To: Goss, Andy; Graumann, Axel; withheld, Amy; McElreath, Doug; Hawkins,
Kathy; Love, Liz; Seiderman, Mwithheld; Hudspeth, Paul; Fleming, Steve; Anders,
Dee Dee
Subject: glossary
Date: Friday, June 06, 1997 11:28AM
Glossary of (up-to-the-minute) computer neologisms:
Dilberted: To be exploited and oppressed by your boss.
Derived from the experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell
comic strip character. "I've been dilberted again. The old man
revised the specs for the fourth time this week."
Link Rot: The process by which links on a web page became as
obsolete as the sites they're connected to change location or die.
Crapplet: A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet.
"I just wasted 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
Plug-and-Play: A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The
new guy, John, is great. He's totally plug-and-play."
World Wide Wait: The real meaning of WWW.
CGI Joe: A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the
social skills and charisma of a plastic action figure.
Dorito Syndrome: Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered
by addictive substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six
hours surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito Syndrome."
Under Mouse Arrest: Getting busted for violating an online service's
rule of conduct. "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under
mouse arrest."
Glazing: Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular
pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings.
"Didn't he notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"
404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message
"404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried
to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, man."
Dead Tree Edition: The paper version of a publication available in both
paper and electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San
Francisco Chronicle..."
Egosurfing: Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research
papers looking for the mention of your name.
Graybar Land: The place you go while you're staring at a computer
that's processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar
creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed like
hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
Open-Collar Workers: People who work at home or telecommute.
Squirt The Bird: To transmit a signal up to a satellite. "Crew and
talent are ready...what time do we squirt the bird?"
Brain Fart: A byproduct of a bloated mind producing information
effortlessly. A burst of useful information. "I know you're busy on
the Microsoft story, but can you give us a brain fart on the
Mitnik bust?" Variation of old hacker slang that had more negative
connotations.
Cobweb Site: A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a
long time. A dead web page.
Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud
found on computer keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I
can use? This one has a bad case of keyboard plaque."
Elvis Year: The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney
the dinosaur's Elvis year was 1993."
Alpha Geek: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient
person in an office or work group.
"Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
Adminisphere: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above
the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are
often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
designed to solve.
Tourists: People who are taking training classes just to get
a vacation from their jobs. "We had about three serious
students in the class; the rest were tourists."
Blowing Your Buffer: Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the
person you are speaking with won't let you get a word
in edgewise or has just said something so astonishing that
your train gets derailed. "I just blew my buffer!"
Gray Matter: Older, experienced business people hired by
young entrepreneurial firms looking to appear more reputable and
established.
Bookmwithheld: To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor
borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmwithhelded him after
seeing his cool demo at Siggraph."
Beepilepsy: The brief seizure people sometimes suffer when their
beepers go off , especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical
spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.