Alan Cwithheld Jeep Me! (26 days and counting)
Firehouse Network Consulting Flame Red '97 Wrangler
UNIX/LAN/WAN/Security Black Soft Top
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Here's one that almost qualifies for the "Darwin Awards", they
lived. This was on the yesterday morning's Lewis & Floorwax Show, on
103.5 FM, The Fox Radio in Denver. Another one of those things that make
you go hmmm. Michigan, USA.
This guy buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30-some-odd thousand
dollars and has $400+ dollar monthly payments. He immediately gets ahold
of his friend and they go to do some male bonding. They go duck hunting,
and of course it being winter, all of the lakes are frozen.
These two atomic brains go to the lake with their guns, their dog,
their beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the ice and
get ready. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for
the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice
and in order to make a hole large enough to look like something a
wandering duck would want to fly down and land on, it will take a little
more effort than a ice hole drill.
So, out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of
dynamite with a short, 40 second fuse.
Now these two rocket scientists do take into consideration that if
they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where
they (and the new Grand Cherokee) are standing, they take the risk of
slipping on the ice and possibly going up in smoke with the resulting
blast when they run from the burning fuse. So, they decide to light this
40 second fuse and throw the dynamite. This is what they end up doing.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle,
the beer, the guns, AND THE DOG ???? Yes, the dog. A highly trained
black lab used for retrieving things, especially things thrown by the
owner.
You guessed it, as soon as they throw the dynamite, the dog takes
off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and gets the stick of
dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse about the time it hits the ice,
all to the woes of the two idiots yelling, stomping, waving arms and
wondering what the hell to do now.
Well, the dog, it is happy and heads back from where it came from
moments before, with the stick of dynamite, only to the mounting woes of
the two bozo's now really waving their arms, yelling even louder and
jumping to higher heights than ever before.
Now, one of the guys decides to think, something that he has never
done before this moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun
is loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly something big enough to stop a black
lab on its appointed rounds. Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused
and continues on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing,
becomes really confused and scared. The dog, thinking these two Nobel
prize winners have gone insane takes off to find cover, with the now
really short-short fuse burning on this stick of dynamite. The cover the
dogs finds? Of course underneath the Grand Cherokee, the brand new,
30-some-odd thousand dollar, $400+ monthly payment, vehicle sitting on the
lake ice.
BOOM !
The dog dies, it and the Grand Cherokee, the brand new,
30-some-odd thousand dollar, $400+ monthly payment, vehicle, sink to the
bottom of the lake leaving the two candidates for co-leaders of the known
universe standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on
their faces.
Later, the owner of the vehicle called his insurance company who
tell him that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is
not covered. He had yet to make the first of those $400+ a month
payments.