FROM: Kevin Yost-TechSolv <kyost@techsolv.com>
TO: kyost@techsolv.com
DATE: Sat, 3 May 1997 12:38:10 -0400
RE: Trek Questions
> Why did the chicken cross the road?
> ------------------------------------
>
>Chakotay: Whatever its reason, whatever its goals, we should =
respect
>its
>right to cross the road and seek its own spiritual awareness.
>
>Neelix: Actually, Captain, I'm not really familiar with the =
chickens in
>this system. But, if you can catch it, I can cook it.
>
>Riker: I don't know why, but I know how: with pleasure, sir.
>
>Worf: I don't know. KLINGON chickens do NOT cross roads.
>
>HoloDoc: How should I know? No one tells me anything around =
here. I
>didn't
>even know we added chickens to the crew. All I know is that it =
would
>have
>been nice, BEFORE the chicken went off to the cross the road, if =
it had
>remembered to turn me off!
>
>Dr. Crusher: If there's nothing wrong with the chicken, there =
must be
>something wrong with the universe.
>
>Scotty: Because she couldna take much morrrrrre.
>
>Odo: I don't know, but I'm sure it must be Quwithheld's fault.
>
>Quwithheld: Who, me?
>
>Kirk: You chicken bastard, you killed my son...YOU chicken =
BASTARD, you
>killed...my SON...you CHICKEN bastard....youkilledmy...son!
>
>Troi: I feel the chicken's pain!
>
>Kira: It was probably being chased by those cursed Cardassians.
>
>Bones: Dammit, I'm a doctor, not an ornithologist!
>
>Data: The chicken, in observing that it was on the opposite =
side of the
>20th century Terran paved roadway, was aware that its immediate =
goal
>should
>have been to traverse the distance without interception by an =
kind of
>combustion-propelled personal transport vehicle, but I am =
unclear as to
>why
>any kind of domesticated fowl should desire to perambulate upon =
a
>conveyance
>normally reserved for the usage of . . . yes, sir.
>
>The Borg: Crossing the road is irrelevant. The chicken will be
>assimilated.
>
>Hugh the Borg: Maybe it just needed a big hug!
>
>B'Elanna: I'm sure it felt suffocated by all the bleeping =
regulations
>of
>bleeping Starfleet and just couldn't stand it any longer!
>
>Picard: There are four lights!
>
>Q: Wouldn't you like to know? Too bad your puny human brain =
wouldn't
>be
>able to comprehend the answer.
>
>Uhura: Shall I open hailing frequencies so you can ask it, sir?
>
>Tasha: That depends...was it fully functional?
>
>Chekov: It must have been on its way to assist in saving my =
life for
>the
>billionth time . . . did I scream this time?
>
>Khan: With my last breath I spit at the chicken...
>
>Harry: I don't know, it's my first mission.
>
>Paris: Well, I think that...say, that's a lovely shirt you're =
wearing.
>
>Harry Mudd: Chicken? I don't remember any chicken. No no no, =
there's
>been
>a terrible misunderstanding.
>
>Janeway: Its primary goal was no doubt to get back to the Alpha
>Quadrant...and it probably misses its dog.
>
>Nurse Chapel: Oh, Spock!
>
>Lwaxana: Oh, Jean-Luc!
>
>Spock: Fascinating, Captain.
>
>V'Ger: To join with the Creator.
>
>The Grand Nagus: Stupid chicken! You don't cross the road all =
at once!
>You
>sneak across it quietly, without anyone noticing!
>
>Gul Dukat: Well, that's a very interesting question...I'm sure =
we can
>work
>out some kind of arrangement to obtain that information that =
will be to
>everyone's satisfaction.
>
>Kes: It was remembering back to the times when its ancestors =
crossed
>roads
>all the time! They lost those abilities because they stopped =
using
>them!
>
>O'Brien: No problem, Commander, I'll get right on it.
>
>Wesley: I'm not sure, but I can figure it out if I reroute =
these
>systems
>and reconfigure the warp field and run a complete internal
>whootchacallit on
>the computers and . . .
>
>Sisko: It was seeking deeper meaning. Jake, do you see what =
we've
>learned
>from all this?
>
>Geordi: Well, wherever it's going, I'm sure it'll have more =
luck with
>women
>than I do.
>
>Sulu: Don't call me Tiny!
>
>Sarek: Sometimes logic fails me where chickens are concerned.
>
>Mr. Homn:
>
>Dax: To get to the other side. Kurzon might have disagreed =
with me,
>Tobin
>I'm sure wouldn't have had a clue,and then there's . . .
>
>Tuvok: That's not a question we'd prefer to hear from a senior =
officer.
>It
>makes the junior officers nervous.
>
>
> _ ______________________
>