---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Mon, 16 Sep 1996 21:32:29 -0400 (EDT)
From: "J. Ferrell - WebPress" <ferrell@enterprise.withheld.net>
To: Scott Noecker - WebPress <noecker@enterprise.withheld.net>,
Diane withheld <dianep@enterprise.withheld.net>,
Mwithheld A withheld - WebPress <withheld@enterprise.withheld.net>,
Amy withheld <aholbroo@withheld.withheld.gov>,
Virtual Mother <withheld@sunbelt.net>
Subject: HUMOR: Why did the chicken cross the road? (Very Funny). (fwd)
Forwarded message:
>From owner-humor@lists.gateway.com Mon Sep 16 21:32:00 1996
From: "J. Ferrell - WebPress" <ferrell@withheld.net>
Message-Id: <199609170130.VAA20725@enterprise.withheld.net>
Subject: HUMOR: Why did the chicken cross the road? (Very Funny).
To: humor@gateway.com
Date: Mon, 16 Sep 1996 21:30:15 -0400 (EDT)
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.4 PL24alpha3]
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
Sender: owner-humor@lists.gateway.com
Precedence: bulk
X-Forwarded-By: humor@lists.gateway.com
X-Reminder: It can always get worse.
> Message-Id: <199609162219.PAA03947@mont-blanc.eng.sun.com>
>
> ---------------------------------------
> Why did the chicken cross the road...
>
> The Windows NT chicken will cross the road in June. No, August.
> September for sure.
>
> The OS/2 chicken: it crossed the road in style years ago, but it was
> so quiet that nobody noticed.
>
> The Windows 95 chicken: You see different coloured feathers while it
> crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like....chicken.
>
> Microsoft Chicken(TM): It's already on both sides of the road. And
> it just bought the road.
>
> The OOP chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a
> message.
>
> The Assembler chicken: First, it builds the road....
>
> The C chicken: It crosses the road without looking both ways.
>
> The C++ chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd
> simply refer it to the other side.
>
> The Prolog chicken: How it crosses the road doesn't matter--but ask
> it why and it'll tell you.
>
> VB: USHIGHWAYS!TheRoad.cross(aChicken)
>
> The Delphi chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and
> dropped on the other side.
>
> The Java chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the
> server will download one to the other side.(Of course, those are
> chicklets.)
>
> The Web chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keep
> on running.
>
> The Gopher chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web
> chicken.
>
> The Newton chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but
> you can carry it across the road in your pocket.
>
> The Cray chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you
> don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side
> fully cooked.
>
> The Quantum Logic chicken: The chicken is distributed
> probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the
> side of your choice.
>
> The Esther Dyson chicken: You can cross the road with her for only
> $3,000--but you also have to listen to her talk about how she went to
> Harvard.
>
> The Lotus chicken: Don't you dare try to cross the road the same way
> we do!
>
> The Byte chicken: It's started talking about all the great roads it
> crossed ten and fifteen years ago.
>
> The MacChicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to
> cross the road, so there's now way to tell it to.
>
> The Al Gore chicken: Waiting for completion of NCI(the National
> Chicken-crossing Infrastructure) and will cross as soon as it's
> finished, assuming he's re-elected and the Republicans don't gut the
> program.
>
> The adventure chicken: "CROSS the road WITH the LIGHTS." "I can't do
> that."
>
> The COBOL chicken:
>
> 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
> IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES THEN
> PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
> VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
> UNTIL ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
> ELSE
> GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING
>
> The Turbo Vision chicken:
>
> Begin
> AChicken:= New(PAnimal.Init(atChicken.NoEggs)); If AChicken < nil then
> Begin
> AChicken^.Travel(tfAcrossTheRoad);
> Dispose(AChicken.Done);
> End;
> End;
>
>
--//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// | J. Ferrell - WWW Specialist / Designer - withheld Inc. | | Personal E-mail to : ferrell@mercury.withheld.com | | Work - Related E-mail to : ferrell@withheld.net | | Home Page address : http://www.webpress.net/j/ | \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\