| Subject: Humorous definitions
|
| Hope these put a smile on your face!
|
| Dilberted
| To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the
| experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've
| been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth
| time this week."
|
| Link Rot
| The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as
| the sites they're connected to change location or die.
|
| Chip Jewelry
| A euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned
| into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE,
| and now it's nothing but chip jewelry."
|
| Crapplet
| A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted
| 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!"
|
| Plug-and-Play
| A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is
| great. He's totally plug-and-play."
|
| World Wide Wait
| The real meaning of WWW.
|
| CGI Joe
| A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and
| charisma of a plastic action figure.
|
| Dorito Syndrome
| Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive
| substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours
| surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito
| Syndrome."
|
| Under Mouse Arrest
| Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct.
| "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse
| arrest."
|
| Glazing
| Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular
| pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he
| notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?"
|
| 404
| Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message
| "404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried
| to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404,
| man."
|
| Dead Tree Edition
| The paper version of a publication available in both paper and
| electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San
| Francisco Chronicle..."
|
| Egosurfing
| Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers
| looking for the mention of your name.
|
| Graybar Land
| The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's
| processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar
| creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed
| like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering."
|
| Open-Collar Workers
| People who work at home or telecommute.
|
| Cobweb Site
| A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time.
| A dead web page.
|
| It's a Feature
| >From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically
| to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over.
|
| Keyboard Plaque
| The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer
| keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has
| a bad case of keyboard plaque."
|
| Career-Limiting Move (CLM)
| Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity.
| Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious
| CLM.
|
| Elvis Year
| The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's
| Elvis year was 1993."
|
| Alpha Geek
| The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office
| or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."
|
| Adminisphere
| The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank
| and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often
| profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were
| designed to solve.
|
| Tourists
| People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from
| their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the
| rest were tourists."
|
| Blowing Your Buffer
| Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are
| speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just
| said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn,
| I just blew my buffer!"
|
| Bookmwithheld
| To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor
| borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmwithhelded him after seeing
| his cool demo at Siggraph."
|
| Nyetscape
| Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.
|
| Beepilepsy
| The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go
| off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical
| spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in
| mid-sentence.
-- withheld C. L'withheld dcl@clearlight.com http://www.clearlight.com/~dcl