HUMOR: END OF THE WORLD (fwd)

Alan B. Cwithheld (abc@gateway.com)
Fri, 1 Nov 1996 10:16:16 -0500 (EST)

END-OF-WORLD SUBSCRIPTION DEAL. (Last week the following hilarity
zipped around the Internet, hitting BONG Center from at least four
sources. We don't know who the author is and wish we could credit
it. But such is the technology of forwarding text electronically,
a problem that has yet to be resolved in computing, that senders'
names become obliterated or confused. If the author will make
himself or herself known, fame awaits in a future edition.)

HOW THE MEDIA WOULD COVER THE APOCALYPSE.

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD.

The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS.

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN?

Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE.

Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE.

Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER.

Wired: THE LAST NEW THING.

Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR.

Readers Digest: 'BYE.

Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Ladies Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE.

Microsoft's Web Site: IF YOU DIDN'T EXPERIENCE THE RAPTURE, DOWNLOAD SOFTWARE PATCH "RAPT777.EXE".