From: "Daniel C. L'Hommedieu" <dcl@clearlight.com> Date: Thu, 7 Nov 1996 22:55:30 -0500 (EST) Enjoy! | Subject: Humorous definitions | | Hope these put a smile on your face! | | Dilberted | To be exploited and oppressed by your boss. Derived from the | experiences of Dilbert, the geek-in-hell comic strip character. "I've | been dilberted again. The old man revised the specs for the fourth | time this week." | | Link Rot | The process by which links on a web page became as obsolete as | the sites they're connected to change location or die. | | Chip Jewelry | A euphemism for old computers destined to be scrapped or turned | into decorative ornaments. "I paid three grand for that Mac SE, | and now it's nothing but chip jewelry." | | Crapplet | A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted | 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!" | | Plug-and-Play | A new hire who doesn't need any training. "The new guy, John, is | great. He's totally plug-and-play." | | World Wide Wait | The real meaning of WWW. | | CGI Joe | A hard-core CGI script programmer with all the social skills and | charisma of a plastic action figure. | | Dorito Syndrome | Feelings of emptiness and dissatisfaction triggered by addictive | substances that lack nutritional content. "I just spent six hours | surfing the Web, and now I've got a bad case of Dorito | Syndrome." | | Under Mouse Arrest | Getting busted for violating an online service's rule of conduct. | "Sorry I couldn't get back to you. AOL put me under mouse | arrest." | | Glazing | Corporate-speak for sleeping with your eyes open. A popular | pastime at conferences and early-morning meetings. "Didn't he | notice that half the room was glazing by the second session?" | | 404 | Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web message | "404, URL Not Found," meaning that the document you've tried | to access can't be located. "Don't bother asking him...he's 404, | man." | | Dead Tree Edition | The paper version of a publication available in both paper and | electronic forms, as in: "The dead tree edition of the San | Francisco Chronicle..." | | Egosurfing | Scanning the net, databases, print media, or research papers | looking for the mention of your name. | | Graybar Land | The place you go while you're staring at a computer that's | processing something very slowly (while you watch the gray bar | creep across the screen). "I was in graybar land for what seemed | like hours, thanks to that CAD rendering." | | Open-Collar Workers | People who work at home or telecommute. | | Cobweb Site | A World Wide Web Site that hasn't been updated for a long time. | A dead web page. | | It's a Feature | >From the adage "It's not a bug, it's a feature." Used sarcastically | to describe an unpleasant experience that you wish to gloss over. | | Keyboard Plaque | The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer | keyboards. "Are there any other terminals I can use? This one has | a bad case of keyboard plaque." | | Career-Limiting Move (CLM) | Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. | Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious | CLM. | | Elvis Year | The peak year of something's popularity. "Barney the dinosaur's | Elvis year was 1993." | | Alpha Geek | The most knowledgable, technically proficient person in an office | or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here." | | Adminisphere | The rarified organizational layers beginning just above the rank | and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often | profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were | designed to solve. | | Tourists | People who are taking training classes just to get a vacation from | their jobs. "We had about three serious students in the class; the | rest were tourists." | | Blowing Your Buffer | Losing one's train of thought. Occurs when the person you are | speaking with won't let you get a word in edgewise or has just | said something so astonishing that your train gets derailed. "Damn, | I just blew my buffer!" | | Bookmark | To take note of a person for future reference (a metaphor | borrowed from web browsers). "I bookmarked him after seeing | his cool demo at Siggraph." | | Nyetscape | Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser. | | Beepilepsy | The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go | off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical | spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in | mid-sentence. -- Daniel C. L'Hommedieu dcl@clearlight.com http://www.clearlight.com/~dcl
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