Return to the archive index

HUMOR: What your car says about you! (fwd)

From: "Daniel C. L'Hommedieu" <dcl@clearlight.com>
Date: Tue, 22 Oct 1996 23:32:13 -0400 (EDT)

This came from a friend who drives a company car Ford Taurus (check out
the description). :)

Daniel

| What your car says about you:
| 
| Acura Integra           I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports
| cars
| Acura Legend            I'm too bland for German cars
| Acura NSX               I am impotent
| Audi 90                 I enjoy putting out engine fires
| Buick Park Avenue       I am older than 34 of the 50 states
| Cadillac Eldorado       I am a very good Mary Kay salesperson
| Cadillac Seville        I am a pimp
| Chevrolet Camaro        I enjoy beating up people
| Chevrolet Chevette      I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them
| I
|                          have a 'Vette
| Chevrolet Corvette      I'm in a mid-life crisis
| Chevrolet El Camino     I am leading a militia to overthrow the
| government
| Chrysler Cordoba        I dig the rich Corinthian leather
| Datsun 280Z             I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
| Dodge Dart              I teach third-grade special education and I
|                             voted for Eisenhower
| Dodge Daytona           I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
| Ford Explorer           I think I can kick your ass
| Ford Fairmont           (See Dodge Dart)
| Ford Fiesta             I'm short
| Ford Mustang            I slow down to 85 mph in school zones
| Ford Crown Victoria     I enjoy having people slow to 55 mph and change
|                           lanes when I pull up behind them
| Ford Taurus             I like driving company/rental cars
| Geo Metro               I don't care what you think
| Geo Storm               I will start the 11th grade in the Fall
| Geo Tracker             I will start the 12th grade in the Fall
| Honda del Sol           I have always said, half a convertible is better
|                              than no convertible at all
| Honda Civic             I have just graduated and have no credit
| Honda Accord            I lack any originality and am basically a lemming
| Hyundai Excel           I never drive over 60 anyway
| Infiniti Q45            I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits
| pending
| Isuzu Impulse           I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his
| reports
| Isuzu Trooper           (See Jeep Cherokee)
| Jaguar XJ6              I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that
|                          is in the shop 280 days per year
| Jeep Cherokee           (See Ford Explorer)
| Kia Sephia              I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu
| Corp.
| Lincoln Town Car        I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
| Mercury Grand Marquis   (See Lincoln Town Car)
| Mercedes 500SL          I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
| Mercedes 560SEL         I have a daughter named Muffy and a son named
| Cole
| Mazda Miata             I do not fear being decapitated by an
|                              eighteen-wheeler
| MGB                     I am dating a mechanic
| Mitsubishi Diamante     I thought I was ordering sushi
| Nissan 300ZX            I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings
| Oldsmobile Cutlass      I just stole this car and am going to make
|                           a fortune off the parts
| Peugeot 505 Diesel      I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
| Plymouth Neon           I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
| Plymouth Reliant        I have incredibly stingy parents
| Pontiac Trans AM        I have a switchblade in my sock
| Porsche 944             I am dating big-haired women that otherwise
|                              would be inaccessible to me
| RollsRoyceSilverShadow  I think Pat Buchanan is a tad bit too liberal
| Saab 9000 Turbo         I hope this will help me score with fast Swedish
|                                  chicks
| Saturn SL2              I actually believe those commercials
| Subaru Legacy           I have always wanted a Japanese car even more
|                            inferior than Isuzu
| Toyota Camry            I am still in the closet
| Volkswagon Beetle       I still watch Partridge Family reruns
| Volkswagon Cabriolet    I am out of the closet
| Volkswagen Jetta        I have never owned a real car before
| Volkswagon Microbus     Hey, man, I am tripping right now
| Volvo 740 Wagon         I am frightened of my wife

-- 
Daniel C. L'Hommedieu
dcl@clearlight.com
http://www.clearlight.com/~dcl

From Net Humour Archive (Funny)
Maintained by J. Ferrell
J's Fun & Humour Home Page

Archive created with babymail